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Basketball jokes, basketball humour and comedy.

When NBA players win the championship do they feel ten feet tall ?

They're a team in transition. They're going from bad to worse.

We have so many injuries we're considering hiring nurses for cheerleaders.

Which runs longer, the Ener-gizer Bunny or the NBA play offs?

I wanted to take the family to a Knicks game, but the bank wouldn't approve my loan.

I was known for my famous hook shot. Every time I'd fire one up, the coach gave me the hook.

I've guarded guys that could leap before, but all the others came down.

One of our forwards was so slow that if he ever got caught in the rain he'd rust.

Our point guard is so worn down that when two vultures flew over him the other day, one looked at the other and said, "We're too late. Somebody already beat us to him."

Life is much like basketball: some score points, while others just dribble.

He was a professional bowler before he became a power forward. You should see his alley-hoop play.

One center entered professional boxing after retiring from the league. He's since developed a cauliflower navel.

He looks like a flagpole with hair. In the off-season, he models for silos.

He also works for the telephone company, holding up telephone wires.

Our center's not very bright. I think he's banged his head on too many doorways.

He's such a versatile player. He can do anything wrong.

Philadelphia fans are so fickle. The other night I heard

one of them yell, "Go Sixers. And take the Phillies with you!"

One of our recruits is so fast he can eat ice cream in the rain without having it drip.

Coach after a big loss: "Their players put their pants on the same way our players do. It just takes them longer to pull them up."

He's one of the finest officials money can buy.

The NBA game is spectacular. You see millionaires running all over the floor. It's like watching the Senate on C-Span.

The NBA season is so long the players seldom get time to spend at home with their butlers and chauffeurs.

Our center is a yoga master. He learned yoga trying to fit into airline seats.

I won't say that the playoffs are long, but when they started the season, Reagan was still President.

We have so many injuries the team picture is an X-ray.

His seats are so good that occasionally Jack Nicholson has to tell him to sit down.

He's the oldest player in the NBA. He leads the league in career sweat.

The coach has a run and shoot offense.

If an opponent outruns you, the coach shoots you.

We were the surprise team of last season. We did worse than anybody expected.

The coach is preparing the team for the crowd noise they'll hear during the season. He runs practices with a laugh track.

Short Players

He looks like he went to a blood drive and forgot to say when.

He's the shortest player in the league. He's so short he can keep his feet warm just by breathing hard.

It must be tough on him going through life without ever seeing a parade.

He's so short, he wasn't born and raised, he was born and lowered.

He's really generous with his time. He recently did a benefit for "Save the Shrimp."

He won't be playing tonight. He injured himself when he fell off a ladder while he was picking strawberries.

His best sport is the limbo. He's so good he can limbo under a rug.

He got a new advertising contract acting as a spokesman for a chain of miniature golf courses.

I would never think of making fun of our point guard's height. I wouldn't stoop so low.

One fan yelled at our short forward, "Call the cops. Somebody stole your height!"

I won't say he's overweight, but his stomach crosses midcourt three steps before he does.




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