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Any Umpires

They were short of an umpire so the captain walked into the public bar and asked if there was an umpire present.

One man stepped forward: 'I'm an umpire.'

'Have you stood before?' asked the captain.

'Of course I have, and my three friends here will vouch for that,' was the reply.

'Thank you for offering, but I don't think we'll accept.'

'You don't think I'm an umpire!'

'Quite frankly I don't, because I've never heard of an umpire having three friends.'

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