They were short of an umpire so the captain walked into the public bar and asked if there was an umpire present.
One man stepped forward: 'I'm an umpire.'
'Have you stood before?' asked the captain.
'Of course I have, and my three friends here will vouch for that,' was the reply.
'Thank you for offering, but I don't think we'll accept.'
'You don't think I'm an umpire!'
'Quite frankly I don't, because I've never heard of an umpire having three friends.'
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