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Golf jokes, golf humour and comedy.

I play with a golfer who is so accustomed to shaving his score that when he got a hole-in-one he carded a zero.

The world's worst golfer hit a ball into a monstrous bunker."What club shall I use?" he asked the caddie. "Never mind the club," the caddie answered."Just take along plenty of food and water."

He asked the caddie, "What do you think of my game?" He said, "It's okay, but I like golf better."

A doctor who golfs has one advantage over the rest of us. Nobody can read his scorecard.

He went golfing with his boss. The boss hit his first drive 50 yards, and it lay 275 yards from the cup, so he conceded the putt.

He's too fat to play. If he places the ball where he can hit it, he can't see it. If he places it where he can see it, he can't hit it.

There are thousands of people who are worse golfers than he is. Of course, they don't play. . .

The golf pro wants me to keep my head down so I can't see him laughing.

"You're so involved with golf," whined the wife, "that you can't even remember the day we were married." "That's what you think!" countered the husband. "It was the same day I sank a 35-foot putt."

He had to get a new caddie on the ninth hole. He sent the first one back to the clubhouse for laughing too loudly.

The way he plays they should put the flags on the greens at half-mast.

I'm not saying his game is bad, but if he grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

He cut ten strokes off his score. He didn't play the last hole.

The golf pro walked over to two women and asked, "Are you here to learn how to play golf?"

One replied, "My friend is. I learned yesterday."

The position of your hands is very important when playing golf. I use mine to cover up my scorecard.

A Scotsman gave up the game after 25 years. He lost his ball.

I took a golf lesson yesterday, and did really well. In just one lesson I was throwing my clubs as well as guys who have been playing for years!


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